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gdl06285035, há 10 anos

If I ever needed a brain transplant, Id choose a sportswriter because Id want a brain that had never been used.- Norm Van Brocklin When I was 13, I transferred to a new school for the first time. I had spent ten years from junior kindergarten through Grade 8 at the northwest corner of Bathurst Street and Viewmount Avenue in midtown Toronto. It was my home court advantage. I knew the roll of the rims and the carom of the walls and which teachers were lax at taking attendance. It couldnt last forever. At some point a promotion was coming, and my record setting minor league career wouldnt matter once new maths and makeup-laden girls challenged all that I had honed. I was heading to St. Andrews Junior High. Grade 9. The Show. Embarking on my first day in the wilds of the public school system, I knew I had to make my mark early. Mr. Pelech, my clever English teacher, noticed my t-shirt just minutes into the first class. It was a tattered, ink-drenched Grateful Dead concert tee. He remarked that "Grateful Dead" was an example of a contradiction. Contra what now? Coach tapped my shoulder and I hopped the boards. I proceeded to argue with a shellshocked Mr. Pelech for several minutes. My arguments were lithe, varied and completely illogical, but I had been trained to stand my ground no matter how ridiculous my position. Eventually, a hapless Mr. Pelech scanned the class and sputtered, "Just who is this guy?" Each one of my classmates shook their heads sheepishly as if to say uh, dont look at me. Mark made. Within two weeks I owned that school. They didnt realize the repressed explosiveness that ten years of private school Yiddish lessons would unleash. It is in this brazen spirit I introduce myself to you now, Dear Reader, as your new weekly columnist for Bardown. Why was I chosen as The One to guide you through the international sports landscape, particularly with so many scribes vying for your sports-saturated eyeballs? Commence the elucidation (AKA bring da noize): Basketball. This is my wheelhouse. I know all the lyrics to Kurtis Blows Basketball and I have for decades. I own a Sweet Georgia Brown-humming Harlem Globetrotters pinball machine from 1979. I still play pickup every week at a local high school against stiff competition in their very extremely late twenties. Also, I was an associate producer for the Toronto Towers of the NBA for nearly 500 games, post-games, pre-games and exactly five playoff games. Ooh, another thing, I call the Toronto Raptors the Toronto Towers because I have some self-respect. Baseball. I spent five teenage summers selling peanuts outside the Dome under the alias Mike Simmons. Despite a promising career as a sidearm Eephus pitch-throwing specialist, the leagues advanced scouts were never able to unravel the mysteries of my potential, because apparently throwing over the plate was a "prerequisite for success". Racists. I submit that using the All Star Game to decide home field advantage in the World Series is akin to the winner of the submission portion of Americas Funniest Home Videos determining the nominees for The Oscars Best Picture award. Also, you can thank me for getting the old Blue Jays logo back, as days after writing this piece, the marketing director for the Jays was following me on Twitter, and months later a new logo was born. Also, my therapist says I have something called a narcissistic personality disorder. Football. In 1998, I moved to Los Angeles to pursue the dream of being rich and famous which is why you know me so well today. That same year I became a fan of an upstart outfit known as the Baltimore Ravens because I thought Ray Lewis was almost definitely innocent of murder and I am obsessed with Edgar Allan Poe. Fifteen glorious seasons later I have two championship rings (made of foil and buttons) as my testament. I have correctly predicted, in pre-season, the Super Bowl participants for 13 consecutive years and I defy you to prove otherwise. (Note: Please dont reference my Twitter feed. Just be cool. This claim is all I have.) Hockey. I worked camera on the 2003 documentary A Day in the Life of the Maple Leafs so I know a thing or two about hockey. Well, exactly two things. One, when I was eight years old, my teenage neighbour convinced me his Mats Naslund rookie card could be mine for the extremely low price of my 1979 O-Pee-Chee Wayne Gurtski rookie card. (Note: I have forgotten how to spell that particular Edmonton Oilers name. At least my night terrors have subsided.) Two, I have developed an algorithm demonstrating the NHL to be the worst run league in the history of Industry. It involves a complicated geometric measurement involving my eyes and common sense. (A fact I will gladly prove over and over again until they, oh I dont know, realign the conferences to have an equal amount of teams. Lets start there.) Fantasy Sports. I Am Legend. In its heyday of 2001, my sprawling website, mikegallay.com, was a sports fantasy powerhouse boasting 16 writers covering all sports, catering to an audience of nearly 16 unique daily readers (and fans of ravines who misspelled mygulley.com). Chances are, if you were a Canadian sports fan in the early 2000s, you were reading articles about topics we also covered on mikegallay.com. The Professor And Mary Ann. I will happily cover all the secondary sports every time a participant either murders someone, is attacked by a spouse using the tools of their own sport, has sex on camera on TMZ, or breaks an important racial, cultural or gender barrier while also keeping our interest for more than eight minutes. Thats my pledge. Am I the precisely correct author to bring you whimsical, satirical, deadly accurate analysis of the sports that matter to you? Absolutely. And can I say that with total sincerity because part of my contract stipulates I have no editor? Two for two. Have I earned your attention to read my column next week? Lets put it this way. My topic will be 23 Ways to Make Over 7K a Week Working Part Time From Your Couch. My third column will be Bardown Seeks New Columnist, No Experience Required. Gallays Poll #1 What would you like to see Gallay write about in his next column? a) A 20,000-word essay conclusively proving Mike is the third Williams sister. b) Doug Gilmours Secret Recipes for 3am Snacks. c) My Weekend In The Hamptons With Barry Bonds. d) No column, just use this space to expand Badminton coverage. Miles Burris Womens Jersey Elite . Despite the advantage of four Fijians being sent to the sin-bin in eight minutes early in the first half, Italy almost spoiled the occasion for two of their rugby greats by blowing a 30-10 lead with 20 minutes to go. Marcus Allen Jersey .Y. -- The Buffalo Sabres are shuffling their roster by promoting forward Phil Varone from their AHL affiliate in Rochester. http://www.raidersproshop.us.com/Womens-Art-Shell-Authentic-Jersey/. -- Henrik Zetterberg didnt wait long to make an impact in his first game back from injury. James Jones Womens Jersey Elite . And he thinks its "irresponsible" for the Buffalo Sabres to suggest otherwise. The NHLs new sheriff reacted strongly to complaints from the Sabres on Monday after he elected not to suspend Bruins forward Milan Lucic for his collision with Buffalos Ryan Miller. George Blanda Womens Jersey Elite .C. -- Cameron Gaunce scored in overtime to lift the Texas Stars to a 4-3 win over the Abbotsford Heat in American Hockey League action Wednesday.Dallas, TX (SportsNetwork.com) - The Red River Rivalry had become one-sided in recent years and Texas needed to reverse its fortunes against Oklahoma. The Longhorns did so in a big way Saturday with a convincing 36-20 victory over the 12th-ranked Sooners in the annual grudge match at the Cotton Bowl. With three straight losses against Oklahoma, speculation had grown rampant that Mack Brown needed a win to potentially save his job at Texas. He got touchdowns from the offense, defense and special teams in the lopsided victory, giving Texas its first win against OU since a 16-13 triumph in 2009. "Im proud of our guys," Brown said. "Its the way the Red River Rivalry should be. Its two football teams that fought hard." Case McCoy completed 13-of-21 passes for 190 yards with a pair of long touchdowns and one interception for the Longhorns (4-2, 3-0 Big 12), who have won three in a row -- all in conference play. Johnathan Gray ran for 123 yards and Malcolm Brown added 120, as the Longhorns racked up 255 yards on the ground and 445 yards overall. Chris Whaley returned an interception 31 yards for the go-ahead touchdown in the first quarter and an 85-yard punt return by Daje Johnson helped stem any momentum Oklahoma might have had early in the third. Blake Bell struggled mightily in his first start against the Longhorns, throwing for just 133 yards on 12-of-26 passing with a pair of interceptions. Damien Williams ran for a touchdown for Oklahoma (5-1, 2-1), which had a 10- game conference winning streak stopped. "I still believe in our football team and a lot of potential," said Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops. "Weve just got to get some things ironed out." The teams traded field goals on the games first two possessions, as Anthony Fera drilled a 31-yard kick for Texas and Oklahomas Michael Hunnicutt countered with 34-yarder. The Sooners nearly had a touchdown on their opening drive, but a wide open Brennan Clay was unable to haul in Bells third-down pass in the end zone. A trade of turnovers then gave Texas the lead for good. The Longhorns were marching toward a potential score when Joe Bergeron fumbled at the Oklahoma 20, but Bell was pressured in the pocket just three plays later and was picked off by Whaley. The 300-pounder lineman rumbled 31 yards to the end zone for a 10-3 lead with 2:29 left in the first quarter. Texas forced a punt and again moved the ball against the Oklahoma defense as a 38-yard run by Gray and an 11-yard scamper by Brown set up a first down at the OU 31. The Soonerr defense stiffened and forced a turnover on downs when McCoys pass on 4th-and-2 fell incomplete inside the 20.dddddddddddd The Longhorns, though, were undeterred and continued the offensive dominance with their next possession. On 3rd-and-11, McCoy found a streaking Marcus Johnson in stride down the right sideline for a 59-yard score to make it 17-3 with 8:46 remaining in the half Texas then added a 50-yard field goal by Fera with 3:22 left, but a 73-yard kickoff return by Oklahomas Roy Finch led to five straight rushes for a touchdown. Damien Williams capped the quick 27-yard series with a 3-yard run, but there was still just over a minute left on the clock and Texas had enough time to drive far enough for a 43-yard field goal from Fera to give the Longhorns a 23-10 cushion at the break. Oklahoma started the second half with a 37-yard Hunnicutt field goal and Texas finally had to punt after its first series of the third quarter, but the Longhorns didnt let the Sooners gain any momentum. They quickly forced another punt and the special teams added to the advantage when Daje Johnson escaped two Sooners and raced 85 yards for a touchdown. The extra point was blocked, leaving Texas with a 29-13 margin. Duke Thomas picked off a Bell pass soon after and the Longhorns converted the turnover into another touchdown, as McCoy threw a perfect pass to Mike Davis for a 38-yard score to make it 36-13 late in the third. Geneo Grissom gave Oklahoma a little life with just over 10 minutes to play when the lineman intercepted McCoy and ran 54 yards untouched for a score. The Sooners then drove inside the Texas 10 with their next possession, but went only backward from there as a sack on 4th-and-13 sealed the contest. "They made big plays in the game and we didnt have hardly any big plays, offensively," Stoops added. "They covered us and at times they beat us in protection. They did a better job defending." Oklahoma mustered just 263 total yards and went 2-of-13 on third down. Game Notes Texas was 13-of-20 on third down ... An unranked Texas team beat a ranked Oklahoma squad for the first time since 1992 ...The Longhorns improved to 60-43-5 in the all-time series ... Oklahoma hadnt allowed a punt return for a touchdown since Colorados Jeremy Bloom on Dec. 7, 2002 ... The Sooners picked up their second interception return for a touchdown this season, as Corey Nelson was the first two weeks ago at Notre Dame ... Texas has next week off before a visit to TCU, while Oklahoma visits Kansas next Saturday. ' ' '

zakbowden5372, há 6 anos

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volskygge, há 4 anos