Hardly a person encounters infertility without experiencing the insensitive remarks often made often by those we hold very near and dear. Whether it?s the ?I?m trying to help you by suggesting that you are the cause and you just need to relax? remarks or the ?It?s obvious that I want to be slapped because I just told you that maybe you are not a good enough person and God is punishing you? type of remark. Whatever the situation may be Malik Hooker Colts Jersey , there are a few strategies for dealing with such insensitivity (non-violent).
In the beginning the ?just relax? remarks are not that bad. However, after awhile these remarks become very frustrating and seemingly rude. To deal with these comments, try to remember that they are not intentionally trying to ignore your feelings but rather they are trying to reassure you that everything will be ok. A simple and polite response could be ?I wish it were that easy for everyone, but unfortunately there are some who have to work a little harder." This type of reply respectfully lets them know that there may be other issues and that you do not necessarily want to discuss. If you?d like, you can simply explain to the person this type of remark implies that they are not considering a possible medical condition and can come off as very insensitive. Be kind but sincere about the way the remarks make you feel but do not harbor the ill feelings trying to ignore them, this only adds to the stress.
Then, there are the intentional insensitive remarks. With these comments, evaluate who is making them. It?s not worth responding to someone who is intentionally trying to hurt your feelings. Honestly, anyone who makes such a remark is not worthy of a response. Politely withdraw from the discussion and never discuss it with them again. The main point here is not to get noticeably upset. If someone is obviously trying to hurt you then, your display of hurt or anger will only please and encourage this type of behavior..
The insensitive mother in law may be the biggest challenge, but the rules still apply. Because of the nature of the relationship, she is more likely to be a constant source of irritation. However, it doesn?t mean that you have to discuss the subject if you don?t think that it will be helpful. If your relationship is such that you can have a heart to heart with her, then do so. If not, then let it be and refuse (politely) to discuss this issue with her. In these cases, you and your husband will need to address the issue and find ways to politely get her to back off. Sometimes just hearing it from her son is enough. Remember your goal is to reduce the stress in your life and one way is to refuse to let such a situation to be a major source of stress in your life. Stay positive and focused and use the remarks as a source of determination.
Infertility can be mentally, physically and emotionally taxing. My personal advice is ?don?t go to bed angry.?. Either you have to address the issue personally and try to clarify and resolve it or forgive it and move on. The emphasis here is on the move on. Forgiving someone, doesn?t mean you have to be a constant victim of ridicule. Remember all of the things that you have to be thankful for and use them as a source of strength. It?s normal to feel upset and distressed. Fortunately for you, they cannot decide your fate. They can only be a major source of stress, and only if you allow it. The ball is in your court on this one.
Author's Resource Box
Victoria Caldwell is founder of Infertility Journeya site that provides valuable information, products, and resources for infertility sufferers. Insensitive Comments
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